★2021年9月：書店での販売を開始しました！取り扱い書店等については、［こちら］をご参照ください★
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| cover designed by tsugumi |
「ゆめみるけんり」vol.5
特集：わたしから始める（2021年9月発売）
◆コンテンツ：vol.5の目次です。table of contents for vol.5
◆メンバーズ：vol.5に参加する人たちの紹介。members
The new, last issue (vol.5) of our zine “yumemirukenri” is out now. See the list of bookstores: here.
＊vol.5については、Kindle版は作りません。理由はいろいろあるのですが、今回の号は特に紙で・書店で手に取っていただきたいことがいちばん大きな理由です。Amazonはやめて、書店で買おう。
The new, last issue (vol.5) of our zine “yumemirukenri” is out now. See the list of bookstores: here.
＊vol.5については、Kindle版は作りません。理由はいろいろあるのですが、今回の号は特に紙で・書店で手に取っていただきたいことがいちばん大きな理由です。Amazonはやめて、書店で買おう。
お問い合わせはdroit.de.yumemir＊gmail.com（＊を@に変えてください）まで。
Contact: droit.de.yumemir＊gmail.com
X月X日。感染者数XX人。死者XX人。
この年に私たちはみな自粛を経験することで、一度零地点に、「自分ひとりの部屋」に、戻ることになった。予定していた生の歩みが止まった。いまいち実感のない薄い死が至るところに澱み、わたくし事に大義を優先することを強いられた。それが必要であることは分かってはいるけれど、どことなく腑に落ちない感覚を誰しもが持ったのだろう。だからだろうか、説明し脅かす言葉は氾濫し、何もわからない時に、せめて何も言わないほどの倫理を持つことがないまま、無自覚に傷つけることをやめない。そうした言葉たちが私たちの感覚の上辺を撫でることもあったが、結局は一瞬で消えていった。
Contact: droit.de.yumemir＊gmail.com
〈vol.5によせて／Foreword for vol.5〉
「けれども、私が欠けたら民衆は不完全だ」（アンドレイ・プラトーノフ）
X月X日。感染者数XX人。死者XX人。
この年に私たちはみな自粛を経験することで、一度零地点に、「自分ひとりの部屋」に、戻ることになった。予定していた生の歩みが止まった。いまいち実感のない薄い死が至るところに澱み、わたくし事に大義を優先することを強いられた。それが必要であることは分かってはいるけれど、どことなく腑に落ちない感覚を誰しもが持ったのだろう。だからだろうか、説明し脅かす言葉は氾濫し、何もわからない時に、せめて何も言わないほどの倫理を持つことがないまま、無自覚に傷つけることをやめない。そうした言葉たちが私たちの感覚の上辺を撫でることもあったが、結局は一瞬で消えていった。
しかし、何かを「言うとき、命令の言葉と、契約の言葉と、説明の言葉しかないのだろうか。そんなことはないはずだ」（立岩真也）という信念を共有するとき、私たちにはもう一度始めることができる。もう一度、何ごとかを言うことができる。そんなはずはない、こんなものであるはずがない、と。遠くの他人に石を投げるよりも前に、例えば、隣で眠る人に毛布を掛けてやることが、私たちにはできる。行為で。言葉で。ただ居ることで。
そしてもう一度始めようとするならば、今・ここから始めるほかはない。つまり、わたしから始めることだ──わたしが触れ、見、聞き、嗅ぎ、味わうような距離（ディスタンス）零cmのわたしの世界、つまり身体をもう一度感じてみるところから。わたしであることは難しい。けれども、この小さな部屋にわたしが確かに在るのだと、それを確信してはじめて、そっと手紙を出すように、窓を開けるように、もう一度わたしには理解のし難いもの、つまり他者に出会いにゆけるのだろう。
他者と出会うことは、危険でないことがなかった。だから私たちは挨拶を発明し、握手を、キスを発明した。リスクを取り交わすことで、他者は他者のまま、隣り立つ人になり得てきたのではなかっただろうか。そして時に、その隣り立つ人が、窮極的には他者であることは変わらないながらなお、いや、そうであるからこそいっそう、自分が自分であるために欠かせない存在になることもあった。そして時に、私たちはそれを愛と呼ぶことがあった。
私たちはお互いに一人であり、一人であり続けながら、その一人どうしが変わり、変えてゆく──その「間」に成り立つ一人ならざるもの、一人からすこしはみ出る隙間が社会と呼ばれる。あるいは、その空隙を埋めるものを、想像力と呼ぶ。私たちはいつまでも諒解しつくしてしまうことがないし、そのことをどこかで望んでもいる。「変えられないものを受け入れ（……）受け入れられないものを変える」（宇多田ヒカル）こと、永遠のその妥協と闘いと調整、それを通してでなければ社会は成り立たないのではなかっただろうか。
変わることへの勇気と、変えることへの勇気。それが欠けた時に、私たちは他者を迎え入れることをやめる。そして他者を迎えることがないとすれば、わたしはわたしであることをやめることがない。しかしそれでは生に満足できないことを知っているからこそ、私たちは他人と出会うのだし、景色を眺めるのだし、外国語を学ぶのだし、映画を観るのだし、文学を読み書くのだし、料理を作るのだし、SNSをやるのだし、歌を聴くのだし、働くのだし、絵を描くのだし、写真を撮るのだし、酒を飲むのだし、服を着るのだし、化粧をするのだし、神を信じるのだし、詩を読むのだ。分かりみを受け取り、そして分かりみをなお超えたところにこそ、わたしに迫ってくるような生きていることの実感がある。というような実感がある。
世界は変わったし、変わりゆくが、私たちも変わってみたい。しかし変わる時の私たちは、いつだって私たちのままだったね。いつも私たちは私たちから始めたのだったし、それ以外に始めようがなかった。これからもきっとそうだ。それは変わることがない。いつもまたここから始めよう。ここ──つまり、「わたし」から。
工藤 順
--
2020.XX.XX. infected: XXX people. dead: XXX people. 2020.XX.XX. ...
In this year, having experienced self-isolation, we all had to return to the point Zero or, to the Room of my own. The planned steps of life had to be stopped. A thin sense of death floated around us, and we were forced to put a great cause above personal matters. We knew it was necessary, though, we couldn’t fully be convinced with that. Maybe because of it, the words of explanation or of threat, which lack the minimal moral to say nothing when you don’t understand nothing, overflow and don’t cease to harm someone carelessly. These words sometimes might have touched the surface of our senses, but after all, they have faded away in a moment.
However, when we stand with a belief of S. Tateiwa, who once said “when we say something, is it impossible to say without using the words of order, dealing or explanation? No, it’s definitely not,” we can start again. We can re-start saying something different, like: “It cannot be like that,” or “This is not what I want.” Before throwing stones to others in the distance, we can, for example, cover the one who sleeps next to you with a blanket through acting, through words or by just being there.
And when we start, we can only start from now and here — namely from me, from the distance-zero world of mine, where I touch, see, hear, smell and taste — that is, from sensing my body again. We know it is difficult to be myself. However, I think we can go meeting with the ones who are beyond my understanding, that is, the others, only when I certainly know that I am here in my tiny room. Like sending letters, or like opening windows.
It always has been dangerous to meet with the others. That was why we invented greetings, hand-shaking or kisses. Isn’t it possible to say that we can stand with the others, who is nothing but the other to me, only by sharing the risks each other? And we know the others sometimes have become the essential ones for me to be myself, at the same time the others not stopping being the others — or more likely to say, the others are essential to me BECAUSE the other is the other. And we sometimes called it a “love.”
We are just divided ones each other, and continuing to be so, the ones change themselves and change each other. The void among the ones, which stands a bit over the ones, might be called the society. And the thing which fills in the void might be called the imagination. We do not completely comprehend the others forever, and to some extent, this is just what we want. The society cannot be made without “accepting the unchangeable ... and changing the unacceptable,” (Hikaru Utada) without such kind of compromise, struggle and adjustment between them — we may now know.
The courage to change myself, and each other. When we lack the courage, we stop welcoming others. And we stop welcoming others, I don't stop being just me. But we know we can’t be satisfied with life without others. That is why we meet with others, travel, learn foreign languages, watch movies, read and write literature, cook, use SNS, listen to music, work, draw paintings, take photos, drink, wear, make ourselves up, believe in God, and read poems. I have a sense that in what is beyond our understandings rather than in what we put likes, we hold the urging sense of being.
The world has changed and keeps changing, and we also want to change. But in changing, we don't stop being me. We always have started from ourselves. There were no other ways. And it continues to be just so. It won’t change. Let us start from here always again. Here — that is, from me.
--
But without me, the people are incomplete! — Andrei Platonov
2020.XX.XX. infected: XXX people. dead: XXX people. 2020.XX.XX. ...
In this year, having experienced self-isolation, we all had to return to the point Zero or, to the Room of my own. The planned steps of life had to be stopped. A thin sense of death floated around us, and we were forced to put a great cause above personal matters. We knew it was necessary, though, we couldn’t fully be convinced with that. Maybe because of it, the words of explanation or of threat, which lack the minimal moral to say nothing when you don’t understand nothing, overflow and don’t cease to harm someone carelessly. These words sometimes might have touched the surface of our senses, but after all, they have faded away in a moment.
However, when we stand with a belief of S. Tateiwa, who once said “when we say something, is it impossible to say without using the words of order, dealing or explanation? No, it’s definitely not,” we can start again. We can re-start saying something different, like: “It cannot be like that,” or “This is not what I want.” Before throwing stones to others in the distance, we can, for example, cover the one who sleeps next to you with a blanket through acting, through words or by just being there.
And when we start, we can only start from now and here — namely from me, from the distance-zero world of mine, where I touch, see, hear, smell and taste — that is, from sensing my body again. We know it is difficult to be myself. However, I think we can go meeting with the ones who are beyond my understanding, that is, the others, only when I certainly know that I am here in my tiny room. Like sending letters, or like opening windows.
It always has been dangerous to meet with the others. That was why we invented greetings, hand-shaking or kisses. Isn’t it possible to say that we can stand with the others, who is nothing but the other to me, only by sharing the risks each other? And we know the others sometimes have become the essential ones for me to be myself, at the same time the others not stopping being the others — or more likely to say, the others are essential to me BECAUSE the other is the other. And we sometimes called it a “love.”
We are just divided ones each other, and continuing to be so, the ones change themselves and change each other. The void among the ones, which stands a bit over the ones, might be called the society. And the thing which fills in the void might be called the imagination. We do not completely comprehend the others forever, and to some extent, this is just what we want. The society cannot be made without “accepting the unchangeable ... and changing the unacceptable,” (Hikaru Utada) without such kind of compromise, struggle and adjustment between them — we may now know.
The courage to change myself, and each other. When we lack the courage, we stop welcoming others. And we stop welcoming others, I don't stop being just me. But we know we can’t be satisfied with life without others. That is why we meet with others, travel, learn foreign languages, watch movies, read and write literature, cook, use SNS, listen to music, work, draw paintings, take photos, drink, wear, make ourselves up, believe in God, and read poems. I have a sense that in what is beyond our understandings rather than in what we put likes, we hold the urging sense of being.
The world has changed and keeps changing, and we also want to change. But in changing, we don't stop being me. We always have started from ourselves. There were no other ways. And it continues to be just so. It won’t change. Let us start from here always again. Here — that is, from me.
Nao Kudo
vol.5のプレイリストです。読書のおともにどうぞ。
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